eto lang talaga

taon taon kong inaabangan ang american idol. sumubaybay ako una nung season nila jasmine trias. nadisappoint ako nung nanalo si fantasia at natalo si diana degarmo. tapos napanood ko yung finals nung season5. nagandahan ako kay katharine mcphee at hindi ko masyado type si taylor hicks.

season 6 na yung una kong nasubaybayan talaga. season yun nila jordin sparks. gusto ko nun manalo dapat si gina glocksen kaso natanggal siya agad. tapos ginusto ko din manalo si melinda doolittle kasi ang awesome niya talaga. pero ang nanalo ay si jordin sparks. magaling din pala siya, hindi ko lang siya pinapansin nung una kasi parang wala lang. pero, sa lahat ng contestants na yun, pinakasalaw talaga si SANJAYA MALAKAR. pangalan palang eh. SANJAYA MALAKAR. parang nangiinis na agad.

season 7. ahhhhh season 7. ang una kong gusto diyan manalo ay si carly smithson. panalo kasi yung pagkakakanta niya ng "alone". at ang ganda ng boses niya. saka si michael johns. dahil ang gwapo niya. tapos natanggal sila parehas. at narealize kong gwapo pala sina jason castro at david cook. at na maganda pala boses ni brooke white. so sila yung mga naging bet ko. in fairness, nanalo naman si david cook. si jason castro ay nag-fourth. not bad. pero nagkaron ako ng post-american-idol jason castro phase, kung saan pinapanood ko ang bawat isang video sa channel niya sa youtube. ang cute cute niya. at narealize kong grabe pala talaga ang cuteness niya.

season 8. hehehe, una kong bet sa season 8 ay sina danny gokey, alexis grace at megan joy corkrey. ang resident cute boy naman ay si kris allen. pero gusto ko talaga nun manalo si danny. kasi Christian siya (hindi ko pa alam nun na si kris allen ay Christian din) at ang bangis ng kagasgasan ng boses. at sobrang na-inlove ako sa boses niya nung kinanta niya yung "kiss from a rose". hay, puso. ayun, naiyak din ako nung natanggal na siya. as in luha at sipon at hikbi talaga. parang timang lang, affected na affected ako no? hahaha.

ngayon naman ay season 9 na. una kong bet sa season 9 ay si crystal at si lee. ang galing no, sila pa naglaban sa finals. ang resident cute boys naman ay sina tim, lee, at si casey. ang cute kasi talaga ni tim. he is the stuff teenage fantasies are made of. the big blue eyes, the very very sweet-looking smile, the nice hair, and - not to forget - his URGH arms (yung bonggang biceps niya). si lee naman had this mysterious sad-looking eyes and the very very AWESOME voice. and then, there's casey.

casey james. i never got to watch his audition, nor his hollywood performances, dahil walang oras manood nun, pasukan kasi. pero i knew he was very VERY handsome dahil nakita ko yung pictures niya sa website. and then summer vacation became a reality, and so did cable tv. HAHAHA! HELLO, AMERICAN IDOL! at lagi na ako nakakapanood.

una kong napansin si casey james nung kumanta siya ng "i don't want to be," originally by gavin de graw. that was fantastic. he had this growl voice and this cool guitar thing and then he smiled. and the world made sense. haha!

nagtagal ang american idol and i watched every episode. i liked casey even more. casey james!!! it was so sweet-sounding and heart-wrenching when he sang "jealous guy". feel na feel kong sakin siya nagsosorry. hahaha. lalong lalo na nung kinanta niya yung "don't" ni shania twain? AH, PAMBIHIRA, akala ko magugunaw na yung mundo ko. grabe talaga, ibang klase yun! tuwing nabobottom three or two siya sumasakit ang puso ko. well, except nung last 3 na sila. ang salaw naman kasi talaga ng performance niya dun. pero... AHHHH!!!

i found it particularly cute when they showed the goodbye video of him. at the end of the video, there was this cut of a scene where casey, on his hometown visit (COOL, TEXAS!), found himself looking at a little boy outside the window of his limo. the little boy had these sad eyes and the cute little boy voice, saying "casey james, will you hold my hand?" and he did! ang cute cute!!!!

grabe talaga ang lebel ng pag-iilusyon ko kay casey james. casey, casey, casey, i wish i could meet you and sing songs with you.

you're so cool :D 

casey james. you're so awesome ♥

You call it selective hearing. I call it stubbornness.

remind me of this with every decision: generations will reap what i sow.

eleksyon 2010. wala naman.

kung nakipagpustahan siguro ako, natalo na ako.

parang walang nanalo sa mga binoto kong hindi senador o konsehal.

Gibo at BF. talo kina Noynoy at Binay.

Joey Lina at Ellen Reyes. talo kina ER Ejercito at Cesar Perez.

Copie Alipon at Jericho Ciceron. talo kina Ton Genuino at Baby Sumanguil.

kahit isa sa mga pinili ko wala man lamang nanalo. kung mundo lang ang masusunod, ang tagal ko na sigurong nag-post ng maraming mga sari-saring hater status updates sa facebook. nakakainis man para sakin na hindi nakita ng karamihan sa mga kababayan ko ang mga nakita ko sa mga pinili kong iboto, wala naman na akong magagawa. nakaboto na ako. nakapagsalita na din ako kung bakit ko binoto ang mga binoto ko (hindi nga lang sa internet). walang magandang maidudulot na kung magmamaasim ako at magsusulat ng sunod sunod na reklamo. hindi ako magrereklamo dahil hindi na mundo ang nagdidikta sakin. iisa naman nalang ang nagdidikta sakin.

si Papa God ko na ang nagdidikta sakin.

oo, magkakaron talaga ng katiwalian. magkakaron talaga ng korupsyon. magkakaron ng mga pagkakamali. papano mawawala yun? pag nagbago ng intensyon.

pagbabago ng sarili. pagbabago ng pagiisip. pagbabago ng prinsipyo: magsilbi sa kapwa, hindi sa sarili. yun naman dapat diba?

wala na akong magagawa kundi ipagdasal ang mga tagapanguna natin. ang gobyerno, ang mga mamamayan, dapat nagtutulungan tayo.

let's pray and participate. nakikijoin nga tayo sa mga rally na ang kinahihinatnan e nabubugahan lang tayo ng tubig mula sa fire hose, hindi naman nakinig yung mga gusto nating makinig. nakaupo nga tayo ng komportable sa mga bahay natin at nagsasabi ng mga maling nakikita natin pero wala man lang tayong ginagawa.

let's pray and participate. this will tremendously help our country. let us pray for our leaders. let us not just criticize, but participate. kailangan yun.

i'm sure Papa God want us to all learn something. right now, i'm thinking He wants us to be more prayerful :)

hats off to brooke fraser-ligertwood

if someone were to ask me who my favorite singer/songwriter of the decade is, i would answer in a heartbeat, "brooke fraser".

she is known by many people as the voice behind hillsong united's "hosanna". to me and some of my friends, she is the beautiful woman who writes amazing lyrics and has an awesome voice. to my secret self, she is a blessed woman with lots of love to give to her fellow Creations.

she is the author of my anthem for love, "love is waiting," my anthem as i have yet to write my own version of it.

she is beautiful, smart, and she admits to having imperfections. astig.

God continue to bless you, brooke. you are loved :)

this sucks...

bears are so cute. even though they are one of the most dangerous creatures on earth, they really look so harmless that you would want to give them a hug. thank God, then, for letting humans create teddybears.

from a lesioned prefrontal

I remember very vividly opening the envelope containing the results of the NMAT that I took. I remember very vividly the heart beats fit for a non-athlete just finishing a 5-km run. I remember the cold clammy hands of a sickly person. I remember the giddy feeling of a high school girl who just got asked out to prom. I remember everything I felt at that moment. And I remember feeling a mixture of an evolving scream and confusion forming deep within the sulci and fissures of my cerebral cortex.

Getting a 99+ was not like winning the lottery to me. Neither was it like receiving a new laptop or cell phone. It was more like getting asked out for the very first time.

The first time started like a dream. It started with a series of text messages that followed a friendship that was unconventional but real. He was the cool guy, I was the funny girl. He was the musician, I was the singer. He was the poet, I was the artiste. It seemed perfect. It could happen. It had promise.

Messages began to come and go. Worlds collided, merged, and melted. Universes joined at several different points. Minds started whispering, ears started listening, hearts just thought of functioning. Then the message.

"Gusto mong lumabas tayo bukas? Meet tayo."

An unrestrained, inexperienced, giddy teenaged hypothalamus started releasing hormones causing an untrained firing of neurons in the limbic system and the cortex. Giggles started forming, but then were quickly stifled. Levator anguli oris contracts, along with a partial contraction of orbicularis oculi. A smile slowly starts playing on the angles of my mouth and eyes, but is fought with all summonable willpower.

But then, a force more susbtantial than willpower arrests the smile and the giggles.

Confusion creeps in and suggests an array of motives, excuses, and outcomes which quickly overtake and overcome the neuronal firing earlier described.

So how did this end up? Well, after a day of confusion, an excuse was formulated conveniently and no date occurred. No date occurred, nor will one ever will, with the almost-perfect guy.

So the first time I got asked out, things started happily, then slowly progressed to become weird, jumping straight to confused, and ending up with an outcome totally different from what was initially thought of.

The 99+ moment was no different. What started as a happy giddy moment slowly mutated into a confused unstable state that turned out being insufficient to get me what I had dreamed of.

But got me into something, I guess, better than what I had hoped for.