neanderthal

yeah, i saw your picture. i saw the smile. i saw the smirk. i saw the upward-directed eyes.

i saw everything.

i know how happy you are, and i couldn't be happier for you. i know it's been long gone and it's been, like, forever. and i know it wouldn't make sense to think about it again. it's done.

however, i had a dream about you. and me. and that was scary. it wasn't scary because my dream was a thriller. it wasn't scary because of a never ending fall. it was scary because you were in it in a way that i really wouldn't have wanted. ever.

i smile at you, you smile back. i toot my horn, you toot yours. we pass each other like nothing ever happened. fun.

i never saw you cry before. but i dreamed you did. you cried your eyes out, puffy and red, and you pulled me aside to cry on my shoulder. cheeee, i remember this one. kaso the roles were reversed. i cried, you were the shoulder. dream world vs real world. close enough. but i know dream world will never be real. it will be just that: a dream.

a good dream? maybe. a bad dream? more likely.

i know i wasn't wrong before. i know it was not my fault. it was entirely yours.

and yet i wonder. i wonder how.

how in the world was i able to think of you as anything more...

anything more than a...

NEANDERTHAL?

i mean! really!